i don't understand woman

This title may seem sexists but it isn’t. It’s an unfortunate statement of a fact.

While I’m surely not an expert on that matter we all try to explain things to the best to our abilities. We all don’t know exactly why planes fly but we can all agree that it’s because of the sound of the turbines pushing the plane away from the ground (more on that in another blog post (maybe)). So yeah, here we go.

It’s kinda like running the gauntlet. You experience something, think “that’s how it is!” only to figure out it’s the complete opposite that before. Repeat that for some time.

Before we start I must advise you that I changed the name of all subjects so that they can remain anonymous. But as I told these sob stories already a bunch of times in real life that doesn’t really matter D:

First girl: Semi-touchy type but very talkative. Naive khp is mainly focused on his soon move to another city due to university. Thinks: ‘Ok, this girl may like me but I don’t know how much. PLEASE just friend zone me ‘(Spoiler alert: she didn’t). Only noticed something was taken too far after her friends told me to finally just fucking kiss her, which came as a surprise to me.

Well, finally in Hagenberg and smart Konsti learned a thing. If their touchy, that may be a hint that they’re into you. Well, No. That’s just the way she is to everybody. (Not really everybody, some people (And only some few selected people, touchiness may vary oh FFS I still can’t make sense of this)). Well, after a few months just accept that touchiness means different things when done by different people.

Moving on, thinking: Yeah, people are differently touchy. How about you ask their friends if that’s their normal behaviour. If they aren’t touchy normally than that means something, doesn’t it. Well, No. They can snuggle to you at a party even though they never really do that at other parties and it still means nothing (Well I don’t know for sure, she only takes ages to answer messages on her phone (But when we met she said she’d love to meet up again soon oh FFS I don’t know what to do)).

Well, that’s my current stage. I’ll probably just keep updating this story until I run out of girls, get married or die.

Addendum 20.01.2020

Just go parkour.

Addendum 10.05.2020

Well… it's also possible that they’re into you and are not touchy or cuddly. Slowly I’m running out of options, so I guess I either have to find someone who is neither touchy nor interested in me or I find someone who is touchy and interested. We’ll see.

Addendum 18.12.2023

Just visit your local BDSM club.

Addendum 14.03.2024

Well… it's also possible that they are touchy and interested in you, at least they will tell you that but even that is no guarantee for anything. They may drift away slowly (or quickly) and one day they will tell you that there never was a prospect of relationship.

I guess you just have to wing everything and hope for the best.